Bonjour,
 
Je viens de faire un texte mais je suis pas très sûr, est-ce que une bonne ame généreuse pourrait jeter un coup d'oeil ?

Of all my relatives, Il like my uncle Jean-Louis the best.He's my mother's oldest broher.He's married and he's got three children.He is in his mid-forties and he's very active.He has a moustache,brown eyes and he's bold. He's a very tall muscular man. Jean-Louis is very nice and can always help when there is a problem.  
He's insurance broker. He likes arranging something , making sport and gardening. He likes fishing and walking with his family in a forest next to is home too.In his free time he goes helping in an old peoples's home. My uncle is very christian and every week he goes to the local church. I hope that later I will be like him.
 
Essaye de remplacer tous les "He" par autre chose. Sinon il me semble qu'il n'y a pas de fautes, mais je peut très bien me tromper...    
 
 

Among all my relatives, peut être of all my relatives peut passer mais le premier est plus sur. Ensuite, the best ne me plait pas trop. Tu peux tout simplement mettre I prefer sans the best. Essaie d'alterner He et Uncle Jean Louis pour éviter les répétitions. "He likes arranging something", là je ne comprends absolument pas. "next to his home too" : le too est totalement inutile. En plus c'est faux. Au lieu de "free time", "leisure time". "goes helping in an old people's home" : le in est le mauvais suffixe. Essaie de tourner la phrase autrement. "My uncle is very christian" ne correspond à rien. Tu devrais remplacer par "my uncle is very keen on religion" ou autre chose. N'oublie pas que practice est l'entrainement et non pas la pratique.

Au lieu de :
 

 
tu peux mettre :
 
Of all my relatives, my uncle Jean-Louis is the person I like the most.

I like him best (sans the) ou I prefer him.

From all my relatives,my uncle Jean Louis is the one i like most.He's my mother's oldest brother.He's married and he's got three children.Jean Louis is approaching his fifties but he's still fully active.He has a moustache,brown eyes and he's fat.My uncle's a very tall and strong man. He is very nice and is always there for solving problems.
He's insurance broker,and has for hobbies arranging,sport and gardening.He also likes fishing and walks across a forest near his home with his family company.During his leisure times uncle Jean-Louis uses to visit elders to give'em a hand.My uncle is very keen on religion so every week he goes to the local church.I hope that later I will be like him.
 
 
en gras les changements,c'est ce que j'aurais mis(j'ai volé le "keen" de zamel )
 
c'est bien sûr pas exempt de fautes,à corriger donc