Bonjour, j'ai un sujet en anglais à faire en environ 300 mots :
 
Do you think travelling is the best way of improving your knowledge of people and of the world we live in?
Would you say that it leads to a better understanding between people?
 
Voici ce que j'ai fait, j'aimerais que l'on m'aide a corriger mes erreurs et que l'on me donne des idées pour améliorer mon sujet.
 
In our world and our societies we can easily see that there are many prejudices.  
These prejudices are often convey through the media.  
Indeed we can say that the media have an influence on the public opinion, on the way people see the world.
|So we can ask if            | (je ne sais pas quelle formulation choir?)    to have a good knowledge of people and of the world we have to travel ?  
|We may wonder whether |
 
 
In my opinion I think travelling is the best way of improving our knowledge of people and of the world.  
We can't talk about things of which we have no real knowledge. I thinks if we want to talk about something,
we have to know of what we are talking about.
Similarly we can't claim to know all about something just because we have heard the media.15
We can't trust the media; the journalists just give us "an impression" which is the more often false or incomplete.
Moreover, if we travel we can make our own opinion and be critical.  
We must take into account that everybody can't travel. Indeed, nowdays to travel costs very expensive.
I think travelling is the best way to meet people of others countries and to discover others cultures.
Indeed, to meet other people from others countries is very interesting, it enables to know their conditions of life,
their mentality, their problems...to make our own opinion of them and of the world we live in.
Consequently I think it leads to a better understanding between people because each one becomes aware of the problems of the others
and so the relationships between people get better.  
 
 
Thus I think travelling is the best way of improving our knowledge of people and of the world because it enables to realize the truth.
However don't forget that everybody can not travel and cover the world.35
At last, if everybody becomes aware of each one situation it would avoid many problems.    
 
 
Voila, je vous remercie d'avance pour votre aide.
 

These prejudices often are conveyed through medias.

So we can ask if            |
We may wonder whether | Je met laquelle des deux propositions?
 
"These prejudices often are conveyed through medias." or "These prejudices are often convey through the media" ?
 
Thank you
 

our societies pourquoi le pluriel ?
 
Je met laquelle des deux propositions?  
We may wonder whether
ask: demander à qqn
wonder : se demander
 
our knowledge of people and  of the world
 
and be more critical

Do you think travelling is the best way of improving your knowledge of people and of the world we live in?
Would you say that it leads to a better understanding between people?
 
 
In our world and our societies we can easily see that there are many prejudices.  
These prejudices are often conveyed through ->by the media.  (parce qu'ici on parle de personnes)
Indeed we can say that the media have an influence on the public opinion, on the way people see the world.
|So we can ask if            | (je ne sais pas quelle formulation choir?)    to have a good knowledge of people and of the world we have to travel ?  
|We may wonder whether |
->plutôt que de dire que nos préjugés viennent des média, ce qui est assez restrictif, je dirais que nos préjugés viennent du fait que l'on a une connaissance indirecte des choses (dont on entend parler certes dans les média, mais aussi dans les livres, dans les conversations => à travers le prisme des différents points devue des gens et bla bla bla)
 
In my opinion I think travelling is the best way of improving our knowledge of people and of the world.  
We can't talk about things of which we have no real knowledge. I thinks if we want to talk about something,we have to know of what we are talking about. (pas de postposition avec le verbe to know, et la postposition qui accompagne "to talk", about, a déjà été mise à la fin)
 
Similarly we can't claim to know all about something just because we have heard the media.15
We can't trust the media;(là, ça fait limite paranoïaque mais bon) the journalists just give us "an impression" which is the more often false or incomplete. -> c'est une traduction mot à mot incorrecte. D'ailleurs 'Le plus souvent' est une expression un peu bizarre en français quand on y réfléchit. Bref :most of the time
Moreover, if we travel we can make our own opinion and be critical.  
 
We must take into account that everybody can't travel. Indeed, nowadays to travel costs very expensive. -> attention encore à ne pas traduire mot à mot. Something can cost a lot or be expensive, mais pas un mélange des deux. + travelling  
I think travelling is the best way to meet people of others countries and to discover others cultures.  
-> other est un adjectif, il ne peut donc pas prendre de -s. Tu ne dirais pas people of "bigs" countries... et bien c'est la même chose ici. Je sais pas pourquoi mais l'erreur est assez fréquente avec "other"..
Indeed, to meet -> meeting other people from others countries is very interesting, it enables (moi je rajouterais un petit "us", enable sans rien, ça fait bizarre...non?) to know their conditions of life, their mentality, their problems... (j'éviterais les points de suspension, on a l'impression que tu retranscris ton processus de reflexion, ce qui n'est pas très classe dans une dissertation) to make our own opinion of them and of the world we live in.  
Consequently I think it leads to a better understanding between people because each one becomes aware of the problems of the others and so the relationships between people get better.  
 
 
Thus I think travelling is the best way of improving our knowledge of people and of the world because it enables to realize the truth.
However don't forget that everybody can not travel and cover the world.35
At last, if everybody becomes aware of each one situation (the situation of the other) it would avoid many problems.   ->someone avoids something/doing something. C'est toujours une personne qui "avoid", d'ailleurs, en français on ne dit pas "cela éviterait des problèmes"...
 
A part ça je pense, comme rem4..., qu'il faudrait ajouter une partie critique du genre: "oui, mais même quand on voyage, on peut porter un regard biaisé sur les autres..." (ex: tu te rends dans des réserves indiennes et tu t'émerveilles devant le tableau pittoresque qu'offre le mode de vie des Indiens...jusqu'à en oublier les conditions dans lesquelles ils vivent) Dans ta première partie, on a l'impression qu'à peine le voyageur met le pied dans un pays étranger qu'il comprend tout au pays et aux gens... L'argument ne tient pas très bien la route...et d'ailleurs même l'habitant du pays peut ne pas comprendre le pays dans lequel il vit et avoir des préjugés à son sujet (exemple : les Français sont tous anti-américains)
Tu pourrais réflechir sur le verbe "travelling": pourquoi l'action de voyager en elle-même permet de mieux comprendre les gens. (chez certains, ça peut être la preuve d'une ouverture d'esprit, d'autres peuvent se rendre dans un pays mais rester complètement coupés de la population locale...)
Etc.