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  correction de fautes d'un écrit un anglais svp

 


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correction de fautes d'un écrit un anglais svp

n°512529
prunette
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 09:28:06  profilanswer
 

Bonjour tout le monde, j'espère que vous allez bien, voilà je dois rendre pour demain cet essay que j'ai fait, pourriez vous me corriger les fautes s'il vous plait avant ce soir..
Je vous remercie d'avance.
 
What does the word " music" suggest to you?
(250 words)
 
For my part music is an art, an creative intuition playing on the time and emotion.
It stretchs out as a cultural practice. Music gather all the type of music and genre musical.  
 
 
Let us consider a survey was taken recently to determine the role of music in teenager's lives. This survey studied the listenning habits of 60 000 teenagers and showed that all places are good to listen music. For example 79 % listen to music while they are doing chores, 73 % on the computer , 72 % doing homework, 33 % eating meals at home, 18% in the classroom.
Besides, for example the most influences what are when they are listen to radio is 43 %, with friends it's 30 %, with TV with 7 %. A lot of type of music exist, we have hip hop, rap, pop, rock, punk, alternative, Christian, Gospel, R & B , Country, Techno, House, Jazz and others.
Let us take the example of this teenagers, 23 % enjoy hip-hop and Rap and whom 3 % are fond of jazz.
They do whithout music. It 's a spare time, a leisure because I m convinced that this lyrics, this melodie and rhythm is a source of pleasure. We cheer up and enable to erase tensions and stress about school and family problem.
 
 
I am 17 years old and for my part, my favourite style of music is pop and rock. My least favourite is Jazz and my favorite band are The Cramberries and Indochine and my favourite artist is Robbie Williams. I 'm convinced that music allows me to be in a good mood. It me soothes.
I love often the tastes of my friends because other type of music can be good. However, in my opinion, a lot of music which are of pop rock are excellent and I don't get tired of the music. For example, my friend Julie has been revealed her japanese music to me and it's very different of my tastes and yet I have some liked. All the same, I can like other type of music. As regards my boyfriend, he is keen on the same style of music than I like. Besides, he discovers me others artists or band that I Known very little because they are dead.
I haven't been influenced someone else's musical tastes because everyone to their own tastes. It's great that my friends llisten to the same music as me because me have interests in common. We can do to discover our a lot of things. We make ourselves understood. Nevertheless, if other friends haven't the same style as me, it's not solemn in the contrary we can make report that we can like other thing. Moreover, when I have friendly or love feelings toward somebody it's not because we have that the same style musical.
I known a lot of music thanks to my uncle because he enjoy pop rock also, unfortunately he dead 5 monts ago and he has given all their CDs and when I listen it, I remember special events that I forgot ever because I loved him and he was as a second father.
 
 
From my point of view, music is a source of pleasure, it allow to relax after, to be in a good mood. We can forget stress, tensions of the live daily. We are cheered up. I can't help thinking that it's a major role in the life. Besides, music remenber special events, souvenirs very touching and emotional.

mood
Publicité
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 09:28:06  profilanswer
 

n°512536
nat54
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 10:02:54  profilanswer
 

juste un truc ; ya largement +250 mots là , non ?

n°512538
lefant
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 10:04:38  profilanswer
 

En effet, il u en a 586 (word est mon ami ;))


---------------
Bla bla
n°512540
Tetedeienc​h
Head Of God
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 10:10:00  profilanswer
 

prunette a écrit :

Bonjour tout le monde, j'espère que vous allez bien, voilà je dois rendre pour demain cet essay que j'ai fait, pourriez vous me corriger les fautes s'il vous plait avant ce soir..
Je vous remercie d'avance.
 
What does the word " music" suggest to you?
(250 words)
 
For my part music is an art, an creative intuition playing on the time and emotion.
(It stretchs out as a cultural practice) (? veut rien dire). ( Music gather all the type of music and genre musical. ) (La musique regroupe tous les genres de musique... on s'en doute)
 
 
Let us consider a survey that was taken recently to determine the role of music in teenager's lives. This survey studied the liste[stike]n[/strike]ning habits of 60 000 teenagers and showed that all places are good to listen music. For example 79 % listen to music while they are doing chores, 73 % on the computer , 72 % doing homework, 33 % eating meals at home, 18% in the classroom.
(Besides, for example)  (l'un, ou l'autre, pas les deux) (the most influences what are when they are listen to radio is 43 %, with friends it's 30 %, with TV with 7 %)(Je ne comprends pas cette phrase... même en traduction littérale). A lot of type of music exist, we have hip hop, rap, pop, rock, punk, alternative, Christian, Gospel, R & B , Country, Techno, House, Jazz and others.
Let us take the example of this teenagers, 23 % enjoy hip-hop and Rap and whom 3 % are fond of jazz.
They do w[stike]h[/strike]ithout music. It 's a spare time, a leisure because I m convinced that this lyrics, this melodie (melody? pas sur ici) and rhythm is a source of pleasure. We cheer up and are enable to erase tensions and stress about school and family problems.
 
 
I am 17 years old and for my part, (lourd de le laisser) my favourite style of music is pop and rock. My least favourite is Jazz and my favorite band are The Cramnberries and Indochine and my favourite artist is Robbie Williams (robbie williams, t'as des gouts de chiotte :D désolé). I 'm convinced that music allows me to be in a good mood. It me soothes me.
I love often the tastes (taste, c'est uniquement le gout des bananes et co à mon avis. Preferences ?) of my friends because other type of music can be good (la phrase est très bancale... tu serai pas mieux d'essayer de dire que tu aimes découvrir les gouts de tes amis car cela te fait découvrir quelque chose de nouveau ? plus simple a écrire/traduire). However, in my opinion, a lot of pop rock music which are of pop rock are excellent and I don't get am not getting tired of the music. For example, my friend Julie has been revealed her japanese music to me and it's very different of my tastes the music i usually like, and yet I have like some liked. All the sameMoreover, I can like other type of music. As regards For instance my boyfriend, he is (keen)(? je sais pas si ca se dit ici, mais je doute) on the same style of music than I like. Besides, he discovers memakes me discover others artists or band that I know very little of because they are dead.  
 
I haven't been influenced by someone else's musical tastes because everyone to has their own tastes. It's great that my friends llisten to the same music as me because me I have (interests in common) (tu as des intérêts dans les communs ? j'imagine que tu veux dire "des intérêts communs"... et même la je vois pa ce que ca veut dire :D peut-être "parce que je suis souvent avec eux", tout bêtement ?). We can do to discover our a lot of thingsWe can discover a lot of things together. We make ourselves understood (ne voyant pas ce que tu veux dire par la ( la phrase est incorrecte du début à la fin), reformule de facon plus simple ?). Nevertheless, if other friends haven'tdon't like the same style as me, (it's not solemn in the contrary we can make report that we can like other thing)(pareil, comprends pas). Moreover, when I have friendly or love feelings toward somebody it's not only because we have that the same style musical like the same music!.
I known a lot of music thanks to my uncle because he enjoy pop rock also, unfortunately he dead died 5 months ago and he has given me all their his CDs and when I listen to themit, I remember special events that I [stike]forgot ever[/strike]had forgotten because I loved him and he was as a second father.
 
 
From my point of view, music is a source of pleasure, it allows you to relax after work, school ?, to be in a good mood. We can forget stress, tensions of the live daily life. We are cheered up. I can't help thinking that it's a major role in the life. Besides, music makes you remenmber special events, souvenirsmemories that are usually very touching and emotional.


 
J'ai relu rapidement, je corrige rapidement aussi, y a clairement des fautes qui sont passées ( vu que j'ai pas un super niveau en orthographe/grammaire écrite).
 
Mon avis après correction : ton anglais est clairement d'un très bon niveau si tu as rédigé ce texte seule. Par contre, tu dois fatalement avoir aussi un niveau correct en francais vu les phrases que tu essaies de traduire de facon littérale en anglais, et qui ne passent pas :/
 
Quand tu es justement face à un problème ou tu te dis "cette phrase, je vais la faire de facon littérale", arrête toi, et demandes-toi si tu ne peux pas bêtement formuler autrement ce que tu écris... et tu seras sûre de porter à la fois le même message et d'avoir beaucoup moins de fautes.
 
Si certains peuvent passer après moi pour corriger ce que j'ai loupé au saut du lit, ils sont les bienvenus :hello:


Message édité par Tetedeiench le 16-10-2005 à 10:13:08
n°512544
prunette
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 10:17:20  profilanswer
 

Je te remercie beaucoup pour ton aide et t' as entièrement raison c'est vrai qu'on ma souvent reproché enfin l'an dernier en première L  de vouloir dire des choses trop complexes et donc de traduire ces choses en anglais... On m'a dit d'essayer de faire des phrases simples mais ce n'est pas facile.. c'est souvent le vocabulaire qui me manque, là je l'ai fait avec mon dictionnaire donc ça va mais =(  j'ai dû mal en anglais ...en plus suis en L  =( et j'ai pas la moyenne lorsqu'on fait des type bac.. je fais beaucoup de fautes


Message édité par prunette le 16-10-2005 à 10:19:01
n°512546
Tetedeienc​h
Head Of God
Posté le 16-10-2005 à 10:19:56  profilanswer
 

Ah le dico, le pire ennemi du gars qui apprends une langue ;) Le dico te donne la signification du mot, mais malheureusement pas comment et quand employer ce mot :/
 
Enfin bref, la ca passe bien. Effectivement tu as un bon niveau de vocabulaire ( avec dico [:ddr555] ) , mais tu as quelques lacunes en grammaire/orthographe... vu que tu es en première, je dirai que tu te démerdes plutot bien. Ca veut dire quoi pour toi "avoir des problèmes" ? C'est quoi ta moyenne ?


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