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Aide Anglais

n°2012719
Lisedu62
Posté le 22-11-2008 à 16:43:48  profilanswer
 

Bonjour, j'aimerais avoir une correction grammaticale de mon texte en anglais, j'ai beaucoup de mal. Merci
 
A city without cars will be a good choice because there will be less noise and air pollution in the shopping zone. Furthermore, people will can cross the street without being run over by a car. What's more the traffic is hazardous to reckless people. There won't have collision or accident.
 
On the one hand, people will feel in safe day and night and cameras will act as a deterrent and will help to enforce law and order. This will be cost-effective and reliable.
On the other hand, people will think they are under lose watch and they feel cameras spy on them.
 
Building a permanent skate park is a good idea which will please to children who will have fun. However, skateboarding in streets must be allowed because people have a field day. This is a healthy means of transport.
 
I prefer the first project because it has any disadvantage and it's very good  for the environment.

mood
Publicité
Posté le 22-11-2008 à 16:43:48  profilanswer
 

n°2013073
Meloti
• Hook'em Horns •
Posté le 22-11-2008 à 19:14:41  profilanswer
 

Lisedu62 a écrit :

Bonjour, j'aimerais avoir une correction grammaticale de mon texte en anglais, j'ai beaucoup de mal. Merci
 
A city without cars will be a good choice because there will be less noise and air pollution in the shopping zones. Furthermore, people will can be able to cross the streets without being run over by a car. What's more the traffic is hazardous to reckless people. There won't have be any collision or accident.
 
On the one hand, people will feel in safe day and night and cameras will act as a deterrent and will help to enforce law and order. This will be cost-effective and reliable.
On the other hand, people will think they are under lose watch and they feel cameras spy on them. (???)
 
Building a permanent skate park is a good idea which will please to children who will be able to have fun. However, skateboarding in streets must be allowed because people have a field day. This is a healthy means of transport.
 
I prefer the first project because it has any there's no disadvantage and it's very good  for the environment.


 
Voilà ma correction... je suis en Terminale donc il y a peut-être quelques fautes.


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When I Was Trapped In The Darkness And Couldn't See The Light, I Was Waiting For The Helping Hand...
n°2013528
basketeur9​0
Posté le 23-11-2008 à 07:30:52  profilanswer
 

Je suis d'accord avec ce qu'a corrigé Meloti.
Par contre, je rajouterais quelques petites remarques:
- à la place des verbes où tu mets "will ', je mettrais plutot "would" parce que c'est une éventualité pas une certitude...
- je ne mettrais pas "please to children" mais "please children" (to please someone = plaire à quelqu'un)
-"to have a field day" = "s'en donner à cœur joie"...c'est vriament ca que tu voulais dire ?
 
Voilà  :hello:

n°2013612
EloDijon
Posté le 23-11-2008 à 11:44:06  profilanswer
 

Lisedu62 a écrit :

Bonjour, j'aimerais avoir une correction grammaticale de mon texte en anglais, j'ai beaucoup de mal. Merci
 
A city without any cars will would be a good choice because there will be less noise and air pollution in the shopping area zone. Furthermore, people will can be able to cross the street without being run over by a car. What's more the traffic is hazardous to reckless people ??? . There won't have any collision or accident.
 
On the one hand, people will feel in safe secure day and night and as cameras will act as a deterrent and will help to enforce law and order. This will be cost-effective and reliable.
On the other hand, people will might think they are under lose watch and they feel cameras spy on them.
 
Building a permanent skate park is a good idea which will please to allow children who will to have fun. However, skateboarding in streets must be allowed because people have a field day ??? . This is a healthy means of transport.
 
I prefer the first project because it has any does not have any disadvantage and it's very good for the environment really environment oriented.


 
 
 
+ enlève les "don't", "can't", etc. --> do not / cannot / I am / it is ...

n°2014163
Meloti
• Hook'em Horns •
Posté le 23-11-2008 à 17:44:36  profilanswer
 

EloDijon a écrit :

+ enlève les "don't", "can't", etc. --> do not / cannot / I am / it is ...


 
Ce n'est pas une obligation, mais c'est mieux xD. Les formes contractées sont tolérées à l'écrit.


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When I Was Trapped In The Darkness And Couldn't See The Light, I Was Waiting For The Helping Hand...

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