I had always heard that your entire life flashes before your eyes the second before you die. Only that one second, isn't a second at all, it seems to stretch out forever like an ocean of time. For me it was lying on my back at boy scout camp, watching falling stars. And the maple trees that line our street. Or my grandmother's hands, and how her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janey. And finally, Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to be angry when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes, I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and I can't take it. My heart swells up like a balloon that's about to burst. But then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then, it flows through me like rain and I feel nothing but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday.

Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing?  
Lester Burnham: Nothing.  
Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating!  
Lester Burnham: I was not.  
Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were!  
Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!  
Carolyn Burnham: Oh, I see. You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?  
Lester Burnham: I'm not? Well then come on, baby, I'm ready!