Bon, bien sûr c'est une parodie, et faut avoir des notions de C, mais c'est marrant, surtout ce qui est en gras :
/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
Project: Whitsler(tm)
*/
/*
Reference:
Internal memo William H. Gates III
to:
Executive managers Whitsler(tm)-project
William H. Gates III wrote:
"I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition.
It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought something
_good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'.
Carry on,
Bill
"
*/
void main()
{
int system_id;
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if(first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if(still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
switch (system_id) {
case WINDOWS_31:
basically_run_windows_3.1();
break;
/* --- DO NOT USE THIS PORTION
case WINDOWS_95:
if (is_processor() >= INTEL_486)
lauchn_windows_95();
else {
display_error_message();
shutdown();
}
break;
case WINDOWS_98:
case WINDOWS_SE:
case WINDOWS_ME:
if (detect_plug_and_pray() == FALSE) {
display_message("Fatal error", "Reinstall Windows please" );
shutdown();
} else {
sleep(1000000);
if (wait_for_crashed() == TRUE) {
display_message("General Protection Fault at 0x0084CE8512" );
} else {
launch_windows_98();
}
}
break;
*/
case WINDOWS_NT:
case WINDOWS_2000:
case WHITSLER:
if (procesor_type() == PROCESSOR_AMD) {
SetCache(DEACTIVATED);
SetGraphicAccelerator(DEACTIVATED_3D_ACC);
}
if ((processor_test() > INTEL_586) && (memory_test() > 1e9) && (diskspace_test() > 1e10)) {
uninstall("netscape.isu" );
uninstall("realplayer.isu" );
if (codecSelected("MP3_codec.dll" ) == TRUE) {
open("MP3_codec.dll" );
setproperty("bitrate", 10);
}
do_nothing_loop();
SetParameter(COPYRIGHT_TEXT);
SetParameter(PROTECTION_ACTION);
if (system_crashed() == FALSE) {
if (detect_bug() == TRUE) {
send_message("Contact Microsoft hot line please" );
shutdown();
} else {
wait_for_nothing();
/* launch_windows_31(); */
launch_windows_nt();
}
}
else {
display_message("" );
shutdown();
}
}
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
uninstall("WINDOWS.isu" );
sys_command("format", "c" );
break;
}
}
}
/*
Reference:
Internal memo Executive managers Win95(tm)-project
to:
William H. Gates III
Executive managers Whitsler(tm)-project wrote:
"Dear Sir,
Since we have found that this last piece of code within the
'if'-statement
will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in the final code.
This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of consumer-diskspace!
Thank you for listening to us,
the executive managers of the
Whitler(tm)-project
"
*/
/*
if(still_not_crashed)
{
write_cheer();
finished();
}
*/
create_general_protection_fault();
}
void lauchn_windows_95()
{
while (system_crashed() == FALSE) {
do_nothing();
do_nothing();
if (internet_activated() == TRUE) {
send_message("microsoft@service.com", get_user_information());
}
wait_for_system_messages();
}
}
void launch_windows_98()
{
while (system_crashed() == FALSE) {
do_nothing();
do_nothing();
if (internet_activated() == TRUE) {
send_message("microsoft@service.com", get_user_information());
}
wait_for_system_messages();
}
}
void launch_windows_nt()
{
while (system_crashed() == FALSE) {
do_nothing();
do_nothing();
if (internet_activated() == TRUE) {
send_message("microsoft@service.com", get_user_information());
}
wait_for_system_messages();
if (service_pack_number != 20 && bug_counter() > 100) {
int a = random();
if (a == 10) {
display_message("Please install new service pack of Windows" );
}
}
}
}
